


Let our walls cave in

by mardi89



Category: Hercai (TV 2019)
Genre: Emotional Sex, Ep 16 AU, F/M, Mutual Desire, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 17:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21040004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mardi89/pseuds/mardi89
Summary: “I'm short of breathStanding next to youI'll be the dangerous ledgeYou be the parachuteBlue and green belowIs a masterpieceBut you are beautifulLike I've never seen”





	Let our walls cave in

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Heart by Sleeping At Last
> 
> This started out as an idea I had as an AU to ep 16 after Reyyan's kidnapping. I added a little challenge to write from Miran's perspective and this is the result.

He quietly shut the door to their room in Aslanbey konak. His hands still shook from the stress of being without her for twenty-four hours, he wasn’t sure they would ever stop shaking. He locked the door then turned to rest his back against it, his eyes closing and head tilting up in relief. He swallowed and tried to control his breathing, but even with her standing quietly before him, safe and whole, he couldn’t slow his racing heart. 

“Miran?” her timid voice was a healing balm.

He could tell from her tone that she was afraid, not of him exactly, but of the impending explosion. When he opened his eyes he found he was right, but he hated it. He never wanted her to be frightened of him, for any reason. He tried to school his features, tried to hold in the feelings that were too big for his body. He wanted to smile, to reassure her, but he couldn’t make the right muscles work. 

She stepped to him, knowing instinctively that he was trying for her, knowing instinctively what he needed. When she touched him she melted all the ice that fear had set in his veins. She held his face in her hands, stroked his beard with her thumbs, and he felt more loved than he ever had in his whole life. He felt guilty, here she was calming and nurturing him, and she was the one that had been kidnapped. It made him feel inadequate, like he would never be able to be everything she needed from him. But he would never stop trying. 

He pulled her in by the waist and crushed her in a hug. His nose buried in her curls, the rose scent of her filling his lungs and his mind. He was sure he would never get enough so long as he lived. The feeling of her lithe arms wrapped around his neck and the roundness of her breasts pressed against his broad chest seeped into his bones. He could feel every short breath, could feel their hearts keeping time together. They were racing, beating out every feeling of fear and desperation and love that was held inside. 

She pulled back suddenly. Not out of his arms, but enough so she could look him in the eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was unsure, or the words just wouldn’t come out. Her lips parted in a starting breath, but instead of hearing words, he felt the softness of her mouth on his. Before he could fully realize what she was doing, she pulled away.

He stood there against the door stunned. A tinge of shame pinked her cheeks. She trembled in his arms, her hesitation palpable. 

“I want to feel good.” she finally whispered.

He heard the melancholy and hope in her words. She had gone through so much in such a short time. 

“Will you make me feel good?” her doll-like eyes beseeched him, and he would never refuse her.

Instead of answering, he bent to kiss her. His words failed him, but his body didn’t. He put every feeling he couldn’t express to her in his kiss. He held her waist tight, telling her he would never let go, that she would always be safe with him. 

She broke the kiss with an overwhelmed inhale of breath. He was still shaking, a continuing side effect of too many emotions in too small a space, but this time the emotions were different. The love and desperation were still there, but now the fear was replaced with an intense lust. The fear was back in her eyes though, which told him that his intensity was too much for her. 

She was choosing to trust him again, to give herself to him, and he wasn’t going to waste such a special gift. Not again. 

“Tamam.” _ I will go at your pace. I will try for you. You can trust me. _

Something in her eyes changed. The trepidation was still there, but there was a new resoluteness behind it. She was going to try too. Try not to be scared. Try to trust him.

Her delicate hands were still resting on his chest, and his hands still grasped her little waist. Her fingers brushed his clavicles as she moved to push his jacket from his shoulders. The idea of her undressing him was intoxicating, the feeling of her hands running down his biceps his new drug. His suit coat brushed against the door and hit the floor with a soft sound. When she looked up at him, unsure of her next step, he was already staring at her with eyes dilated black. 

He knew it was a risk, but he moved to undo the belt of her dress anyway, going slowly so as not to scare her. She watched his face as his fingers nimbly undid the fastening. It was erotic and unnerving having her look at him while he undressed her, but he continued on. He started with the buttons at the top of her dress, so close to her breasts. He could see her chest rise and fall more rapidly, and he knew his breathing matched hers. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, blood rushing through his veins. The more of her he revealed the more his arousal became painfully obvious. His hands itched to cover her breasts, but he continued on dutifully. 

When he got to the button below her waist she stopped him with her small hands on top of his large ones. He looked up into her eyes and was surprised to see them dilated too. She wanted this just as much as he did, he knew for sure when she slowly lifted the hem of his t-shirt up, asking him to take it off. He obliged, throwing the shirt on the floor beside them haphazardly. The anticipation was getting to him. He wanted her _ now _. He wanted to touch her everywhere, to taste her skin, to run his fingers through her hair. He had been waiting for this moment, truthfully, since their first night together. He knew in his mind that the wait was almost over, but it was becoming difficult to make his body understand. He tightly balled his hands into fists at his sides to make sure they wouldn’t act of their own accord.

His short nails bit into his palms when she loosened his belt buckle and unfastened his pants. He was determined to let her lead, but he had no idea how hot it would be. She’d never touched him like this, last time he took the initiative on everything. It made him feel so cared for, so _ desired _, and he couldn’t get enough. She was too shy to take his trousers off, so he did it for her, taking his socks and shoes with them. She toed off her flats at the same time so now they stood together in their bare feet. 

His reserve slipped and he pulled her in by the back of the neck for a kiss. She seemed surprised at first, but soon melted into him. His tongue begged entrance and she opened for him at the same time her little hands burned a trail between his chest and neck. The pressure of her thin fingers felt like a brand over his heart, and he loved the feeling of being hers. As he tasted her his hands found their way under her dress at her shoulders, opening and pushing the fabric down off her arms. The smooth fabric of her bra felt cold on his bare torso, sending a satisfying shiver down his spine.

Her arms snaked around his neck when he pushed her dress down her hips to fall on the floor. Her fingers gripped his hair and scratched his scalp as he bent to wrap his arms around her waist and lift her against him. Their kiss remained unbroken, and now as he walked them to the bed she tangled her tongue with his, giving as much as she got. As he excitedly dropped her down on the bed he smiled knowing he was the only one that got to see this side of her. He was the only man she touched and tasted, the only man she loved like this. Possessiveness engulfed him and he plunged back in to claim her mouth as he crawled over her. 

Her nerves returned now that they were nearly naked together on the bed. She had to break the kiss to catch her breath. It would be painful, but he would stop now if she wanted to. He would take as much as she was willing to give him. He looked down at her beautiful flushed face and saw the wariness in her eyes. He knew what she feared, knew it was his fault she felt this way, so he tried to convey every ounce of love and devotion he could through his eyes. 

“Do you want me to stop?” he felt the weight of the question on his chest.

The weight lifted when she shook her head and held his face in her hands. 

She was giving him the second chance he didn’t deserve but was determined not to screw up. He kissed her softly, her hands still on his beard, and it somehow felt more intimate. His right hand moved from where it was braced next to her shoulder to pull the strap of her bra down, repeating the same motion on the other side until she was nearly bared to him. He left her lips to concentrate on unfastening her bra, and when he struggled to do it one handed while balancing above her she smiled shyly and reached behind to undo it herself. She let the undergarment drop to the floor beside the bed while he stared at her unabashed. He had no control over his body when his hand moved from the mattress to cover her soft flesh. He watched his thumb brush over her pert pink nipple and wondered how he did it. 

He was shaken from his daze by her sharp inhale. He immediately stopped to look at her face, and he found dark hooded eyes and a mouth open in ecstasy. Blood pooled in his belly and rushed south, his boxer briefs nearly suffocating him. She was too lost in pleasure to realize he needed help, so instead of disrupting her he took it upon himself. _ Ladies first _he thought when he bent low to capture a rosy bud in his mouth and run his hands down her hips to pull her thin panties down over her legs. She made a soft sound at the back of her throat as he freed her of her last barrier and he was convinced he would die of heart failure. 

He was of sound enough mind to bring her legs around the outside of his after he stripped her, so now the only obstruction between them were his black boxer briefs. There was no way to make it look sexy and he was too far gone to care, so he shucked them off as fast as he could without falling on top of her. He lay back down, between her legs now, and he could feel the heat of her. His hips bucked unconsciously, causing her to gasp in fear. She was close, but not ready yet and she thought he was going to plunge right in. 

“Tamam.” he whispered with heavy breath as he moved so he was on his hands and knees, giving her space and a sense of security.

She was breathing heavily too, and looked up at him under thick lashes, which did nothing to quell his desire. 

“Touch me again first?” she asked shyly.

She was telling him what she needed and he was more than happy to oblige. He kissed her neck and touched her breasts, which she loved. As he sucked on the skin under her ear he revelled in the pressure of the backs of her thighs on the tops of his. He moved his right hand from her breast down to her center, dragging his fingertips across the soft skin of her belly as he went. She held her breath as he slowly inserted a finger, so he fit his mouth over hers to distract her. She breathed his air when he began to move his digit inside her, the way her plump lips slid against his making it even more erotic. 

She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. So many details he took in he couldn’t remember from their first night together, his mind blocking out the good with the bad. The way her skin seemed to glow in the low light. The dark tendrils of her hair splayed on his white pillow. The way her mouth dropped open in pleasure before her teeth captured her bottom lip in a bite. It felt like his heart would burst every time she moaned, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to go through with this without embarrassing himself, but he would die trying. 

When her cries grew louder he knew it was time. He moved his hands back to the mattress and moved his mouth over hers to muffle her sounds. 

“I need you. Can I have you?” he begged against her lips.

“Yes.” she whispered urgently.

A shot of electricity ran down his spine at her affirmation. He lined himself up at her entrance and tried to push in slowly. His vision whited out for a moment, and when he came to he looked down at her to make sure he hadn’t hurt her. Her brow was furrowed, but it appeared to be from sensation, not pain. He swallowed and concentrated entirely on her. He hoped by focusing on her pleasure he wouldn’t reach his too soon. 

They found a natural rhythm, just like they had the first time. Their bodies fit together perfectly, she was soft and round where he was hard and angular, a match made by Allah himself. He was never more sure that they were soulmates than in this moment. No one in the world could complete him the way that she could, and he never wanted to be without her again. He vowed to himself that he would do anything in his power to maintain her desire to be with him. Every thrust, every arch of her back, every kiss felt imperative to his survival. That if he didn’t have it, he would die. But contradictorily every push, every brush of her breasts on his chest, every grip of her fingers in his hair made his heart feel like it would stop. She was the air in his lungs, but with her so close he became delirious, too much oxygen flowing through his veins.

He was losing control of his body and feared what would happen if he went on much longer. He brought his thumb between their bodies and rubbed her sensitive spot while he thrust in hard and after a few strokes she was gone. _ If you fall, I’ll fall with you. _And he did. They both fell off the cliff and crashed into the waves together. 

He held her small body tightly to him as he came down from his high, trembling from the intensity. When he opened his eyes to look down at her he realized she was holding on just as tightly. 

“Don’t go.” her small voice shattered his already fragile heart.

She was still so afraid. After everything they had been through, after all the promises he made to her, after everything they had just done, she was still terrified that he would leave her again. And he couldn’t blame her. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to fully heal the wound he made in her, but he would spend his last breath trying. 

“Never.” he whispered into her hair and pulled her closer still.


End file.
